THEvacantAFFAIR.

Watch me walk away.

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MUACKS. Its RuYing. I know you love me, you just dont know it yet:X. 06 DEC 1995, now, wasn't that the best day of your life? hehe. ~~SCGS(P)~~;; a little too late now, dont you think? SCGS(S), LIVE THE MOMENT BABY. ~~GUIDES COY 2 KINGFISHER~~GUIDES COY 1 DOVE; OMG WE SO PWN. kisses; bitchfacee<3

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Sunday, August 24, 5:22 PM

is it really that hard to let go?
why is it that when i do these things to you
you dont seem to care.
but when she does it
you take it as if the whole world is coming to an end
why?
why am i always 2nd best?

ahhh. today was a little bit better... =] haha. but still drowning in stress now. ahhh. what am i gonna do for art of speech. shiatz. maybe i'll memorize in the bus tomorrow. FINISHED LANG ARTS! yay. ohhh. maths. crap shit.

yesterday was living hell. omg. i felt so damn helpless and pissed off with the whole world. came back from town and my mum kept yelling at me so i got damn irritated and went to my room and just stayed in there for like, FOREVER... i used my handphone to surf the web and came across a friend's blog. i felt so bad... so bad. and i just kept crying and crying. so many things came to me so fast. regret, anger, jealousy...
i cried until i got superrr cold. i thought i turned the air con on but i didnt so i was just pissed of the cold. i wraped myself in my blanket and wore my jacket but i was just freezing. i think i cried until i got a fever. wts. but i was just.... sickly... so i took a bath hoping that the water would be warm but nooooo. the heater wasnt on so the water was as cold as ice. couldnt turn it on 'cause it was on the 3rd level and i was already wet. so i just bathed and i felt really reallly sad. cried and cried and cried.
came out freezing and wore my jacket again. buried myself in my blanket and sobbed about the world. oms. i was seriously sad yesterday... depressed...
i just kept blaming myself for everything... omf. me and my damned mood swings.
nowadays it just takes someone to tell me to do something and i'll get so angry and pissed and i'd practically throw a fit and then the tears come. shiatz.
i am hopeless.
ruying

on the outside i may seem to have a perfect life
waltzing thru day by day without a single strife
outside you see me as a bundle of laughs
but inside you dont see the hidden scars
or regret and jealously and fears
but for you i shall swallow my tears
i cant let you see me like this, for your sake
i must put up a strong front even if it's a fake
i love you
i wish you loved me too

WOAH. i didnt know i had that in me.... i'm a POET!
i feel better already...