Watch me walk away.
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MUACKS. Its RuYing. I know you love me, you just dont know it yet:X. 06 DEC 1995, now, wasn't that the best day of your life? hehe. SCGS(P);; a little too late now, dont you think? SCGS(S), LIVE THE MOMENT BABY. GUIDES COY 2 KINGFISHERGUIDES COY 1 DOVE; OMG WE SO PWN. kisses; bitchfacee<3
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Saturday, January 31, 11:33 PM
where did i go wrong
talking to a good friend the other day and it was after cca. walking to the sandwich machine with her and was in quite a good mood. then she looked at me and asked"why dont you go home arh? stay in school for so long for what?"
"uhh. no larh. i just dont like to go home... it's so... i dunno. its just that when i go home i dont feel as happy as i am in school. as in i like it here with my friends surrounding me, when i go home i feel a part of me missing"
then she looked at me and told me this
"you know ruying, i think behind that retarded laugh of yours, behind that smile and all the optimism, theres actually a really sensitive person in there."
i was quite shocked by what she said. i never expected her to see through me so easily. i mean she's not a very close friend, she's just someone i decided to talk to. and what she said made me think to myself.
why is it that someone like her, someone i almost never talk to outside my cca, can see right through me, when my good friends cant even see past my facade. and i lie in my bed thinking about everthing. is life really that worth it? i dont know what to say.
was doing homework when i suddenly thought of something that happened in school. started staring at the empty cup before me and suddenly was brought back to that time. then heard my mother suddenly snap at me
"oi ruying. what are you doing? what are you dreaming about again?!"
"uhh. nothing."
"what nothing? what were you thinking about?"
"uh. school."
"SCHOOL?! THEN WHY ARE YOU CRYING?"
and as i blinked i felt a tear drop down my cheek. i didnt even know that i was tearing up but i guess i was. i could only mumble a quiet nothing.
yesterday was quite a rough day. as in it was alright in the begining but after lunch started emo-ing and then was gay and then went back to emoing and gay. but once i came home the events just sorta affected me and i was so distracted. sigh.
haha. i guess it was kinda obvious.
i was really sad about something i said yesterday.
i thought we were friends.
and all this time talking to you
i really thought we were friends.
when will you stop treating me like a little kid
and treat me like a friend?
The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour
And I started staring at the passengers who're waving goodbye
Can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time?